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<title>I don’t want to play this game anymore. by lanarabella</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27265192">I don’t want to play this game anymore.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanarabella/pseuds/lanarabella'>lanarabella</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - Fandom, Tom Riddle - Fandom, Voldemort - Fandom, tom marvolo riddle - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Manipulation, One Sided Love, Toxic Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:07:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27265192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanarabella/pseuds/lanarabella</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The end, and then the beginning of a broken heart.</p><p>Tom Riddle fanfiction.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tom Riddle x OC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I don’t want to play this game anymore.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>maybe it was the way you used to trace my hipbone with your fingers,<br/>
the way you’d bring them down to me and make me feel something.</p><p>maybe it was the day you said “i love you”, even though we both knew it was a lie, you just wanted to try to be normal for me.</p><p>maybe it was the first time we kissed, it was after advanced potions and you had followed me out as i was mad at you, and you never wanted me to be mad. so you kissed me because that’s what you thought would make girls like me happy.</p><p>maybe it was the time i cried in your arms, telling you how pathetic i felt having feelings for you, and you told me about your family. that was actually the first time i was scared of you. </p><p>see, i knew children conceived under a love potion would never know how to feel love for another or from, which made me scared of you. the child conceived under a love potion, yet almost had me convinced, before that moment, you might love me.  </p><p>from then on i knew you would never feel the same way about me as i did you. not because you didn’t want to, but because you couldn’t. and that in itself made you not want to. yet you played the part of you wanting to so well i believed that lie for a while also.</p><p>how could someone so perfect be so horribly flawed? i didn’t believe it for a long time. my mistake, though. you trained me like a horse for the derby, as if my only purpose in life was to win the race of serving you. all my life i swore i would not be a follower. so, you took that from me.</p><p>why is it that it took so long for me to realize just how cruel you were to me? my heart so filled with love for you, while your heart was filled with the satisfaction of having such a loyal lapdog who happened to have sex with you. </p><p>i love you, tom riddle. or whoever you are. whatever you need to be to get on with your life. when you read this- if you do at all -you’ll find that you can’t find me. you disgust me and i’m horrified that i’m so helplessly in love with such a beautiful monster. i can’t be near you anymore. for all we know, i could be dead by the time you read this. i haven’t decided yet. why am i writing this? you don’t care about me or my feelings. you don’t love me. you never have even tried to feel love for me. did faking it never make you wonder if it would be nice to love someone? for a time, when i realized who you truly were, i felt like it was because i wasn’t worth it. that’s what you would probably tell me in order to crush my confidence further. but you really just never saw anyone as anything but a player in your game to move and use as you pleased. and so that’s what you did with me. and everyone else who ever bowed down and kissed your feet. except i’m gone now and i love you and i’m going to be hurt forever that my absence won’t hurt you as you’ll just replace me within a day. i love you and it’s pathetic, and that time i cried to you about how pathetic i felt for starting to have feelings for you, you actually agreed in your head. but you told me your story and i felt sorry for you and maybe loving you wouldn’t be all that bad. i was scared but i didn’t care because you were so beautifully broken that i had to be the one to make sure you didn’t break further. and instead i became the broken one so for the millionth time, i love you. i would say see you in the after life, but your soul is so muddied that if you did eventually die, you’d just be dead. and i’m actually glad i’ll never see you again. i love you.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello! if you’re reading this, i want to clarify that this will be a series of letters/notes to tom riddle from oc, but they’ll be posted from the last one to the first.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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